Kayla Smock
My name is Kayla Smock and I just entered my freshman year at Monmouth University.
I had played softball most of my life, it was my passion. Quite frankly, I thought I would be playing it forever. Unfortunately, in 2015, my teammate and I collided while both going for a pop-up. I took the brunt of the hit and was left with a concussion and neck sprain. I didn’t know it then, but my life was going to be forever changed. Doctors told me I would be back on the field in no time. I wasn’t really worried and knew as long as I did what the doctors told me, I could play again in a few weeks. However, my symptoms were not going away. I had constant head and neck pain. I had to resort to home instruction for school as I was not able to physically make it through the school day due to the headaches.
A year and a half later, we figured out why I was still in pain. The whiplash motion from the hit caused damage to the nerves in the back of my head leaving me with a condition known as Occipital Neuralgia (ON). The nerve damage doesn’t show on imaging which makes ON difficult to diagnose.
I knew I had two choices regarding how I wanted to move on with my life. I could let the pain overcome me, or I could overcome the pain. I chose the latter. Most days I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I did and I found ways to push forth. Being in chronic pain changes every aspect of your life. One of the hardest parts of this journey has been the assumption that I’m healthy just because I look fine. In the beginning of all of this, I actually wanted to get surgery so people would see my scars and see that I wasn’t making this up and that my pain wasn’t “just a headache.”
Flash forward 3 surgeries later and I have plenty of scars. It has gotten to the point that my hair in the back of my head hasn’t had the chance to fully grow back yet because I keep needing more surgeries. But, I am fortunate because each surgery gives me a little more relief. For the last two surgeries, I had to fly to Texas. They implanted a neuro-stimulator. The stimulator is in my chest and there are wires that actually run through the back of my head and my forehead that interrupt the pain signals from reaching my brain. The technology is incredible.
Through this journey, I have met so many people that also suffer from Occipital Neuralgia. I actually started the first ever nonprofit dedicated to ON. The foundation has become my way to cope with what I’m going through. Since I am unable to play softball, I began coaching little girls and started offering pitching lessons. This way, I am still involved in the sport I grew up loving. I have also learned that I’m “stronger with my scars.” Scars aren’t something to be ashamed of, they tell a story and they show how strong one really is. Whenever I look in the mirror and see my scars, I am reminded that I am a fighter.
