Emily Soltes

My name is Emily Soltes and I am a 5th year senior on the Northern Kentucky University women’s soccer team. In the spring of my senior year of high school, I was playing in a tournament with my club team when I got hit on the side of my leg. I instantly heard a loud pop and went down in the worst pain I had ever felt. A few days later, I found out that I tore my ACL in my right knee. This was absolutely devastating to me because not only was it likely that I’d have to redshirt my first season of college, but I’d also never get the chance to play with my club teammates again. Anyone who has played a team sport knows how special the bonds are that you create with your teammates, so not being able to finish out my club career with the girls I had grown up playing with was tough. Luckily, after the first few weeks following surgery, I started to progress really quickly and was ahead of the game at almost every checkpoint. Going into college, I continued with rehab and practiced non-contact for a couple months and then played my first game back on October 1st, 2016, which was less than 6 months after I had been injured. 

Getting back to the player I was pre-injury definitely took some time, but after my freshman season I really started to get my confidence back and my soccer career was going great until the end of my junior year. Almost to the exact date of my first injury, in our last spring game going into my senior season, I again got hit on the side of my leg and felt the same pop I did three years before. I knew the second that it happened I tore my ACL again. I remember when I got home that night, I got out of the car and went to turn towards the house and my knee completely gave out on me. I saw our team doctor the next day, got an MRI, and found out that not only did I tear my ACL again, but I also tore my meniscus and completely shredded my MCL. This was really difficult for me to come to terms with for many reasons, but what really hit hard was the thought of never being able to play with the girls in my class again. We were all super close and it was the same six of us that had been together since day one, so not being able to finish out my career with them was really hard to deal with. That summer, I decided to take my fifth year of soccer and spent almost every day in the weight room the rest of that year working to get back. The fall season definitely had its ups and downs and I had to figure out how to be a leader without stepping on the field. I started practicing again non-contact towards the end of the season and I was finally fully cleared for contact once we got back from winter break.

I remember being so unbelievably excited for our first practice in January. I had never worked harder for something in my life than I did that year and felt stronger and more fit than before getting injured. During my first practice back, I planted to turn and felt a familiar pop and sharp pain in the back of my knee. I didn’t really think anything of it at first because I could still run, but then it started to get stiff and I completely panicked. I left practice early to go see my athletic trainer and after evaluating it, she said that she felt an endpoint (meaning my ACL was still intact) but that it felt different than the other one. I got an MRI a few days later which showed a “partial tear”, meaning I didn’t completely tear it but had damaged the graft. Again I had to step away from soccer for a few months. I was supposed to get back into it after spring break, but the school shut down because of COVID and we never went back. About a month into quarantine, I was out at our field kicking around with a few of my friends and again planted, twisted, and felt a pop. After talking to my athletic trainer and doctor, we decided it was best to just stay away from soccer until our season started (which, at this point, we weren’t even sure if we were going to have a season because of COVID). During this time, my knee started feeling really unstable to the point where I could literally shift it in and out of place on my own. In June, our campus started to open back up and I was finally able to go to rehab and started doing some soccer stuff one-on-one with my athletic trainer. Leading up to school starting, my knee held up for the most part but there were still instances where I would plant and it would completely give out on me. I saw my doctor again after this happened a few times and, though the decision was ultimately mine, he hinted that maybe it was time to hang up the cleats, and also suggested that I see my doctor at home (who did my first surgery) to get another opinion.

I didn’t get the news I was hoping for at this appointment. My surgeon told me that my ACL felt extremely loose and that, in his opinion, it was way too big of a risk to continue playing on it. On top of that, he said that I would need another surgery. Long story short, I got my 3rd ACL surgery that same week and am currently just over 2 months out. It took me a really long time to come to terms with the fact that my career was over, mainly because I had spent the past 16 months working unbelievably hard towards something that I never got to see all the way through.

Needless to say, it hasn’t been an easy transition into a life without a team, a coach, a practice schedule, or pregame routines. For a really long time, I defined myself as simply a soccer player. But I’ve learned that while sports definitely mold us and impact us in many ways, they are in no way definitive of who we are. In the absence of soccer, I’ve had to find a purpose and an identity outside of my sport. Yes, there are things I would go back and change if I had the chance. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy about where it got me. I’m incredibly thankful for the lessons God has taught me and the seeds He’s planted in my life through this whole journey. 

The past year has taught me a lot about myself as well. There have been a lot of ups and downs physically and mentally. A lot of hope that was never quite fulfilled, just teased. A lot of persevering just to hit another wall. I now have 15 scars on my knee that will remind me every single day of what I’ve had to overcome. But I will say this: I have never been a stronger, more driven person than I am in this moment today. I have changed and grown more in the past year and half than I ever thought possible. My scars are a reminder that I’ve faced more adversity than I’d wish on anyone and come out the other side a better person, friend, and teammate-and that is something I’ll always be proud of.